


New Material

by Brewrites



Series: Hidge Week 2017 [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Almost everyone has a dirty mouth, F/M, Lance is a sassmaster, Memes, Shiro is the best at being a dad, What even is a meme?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brewrites/pseuds/Brewrites
Summary: Hidge Week 2017. Day 6: Memes. The other paladins return to the ship and find out about what Hunk, Lance and Pidge have been up to while they were gone.





	New Material

Several days since their return from the beach planet, Allura and Keith and Shiro returned, waking Coran from his cryogenic power nap. Pidge and Hunk had taken to researching the shell and teaching Lance how to actually cook, but it had become pretty obvious that they were hopeless to do anything else without Coran. 

“Sorry it took us so long,” Shiro spoke, finding the three of them on the couch in various states of dress, all looking bored. Pidge lay across Lance and Hunk in one of his large sleepshirts as they sat there in swim trunks. “The Council of Roo sure had a lot to say.”

Allura just smiled, patting his shoulder. “You would too if you had no need to breathe and the final countdown toward defeating Zarkon and the galra was on the horizon.”

Typical Lance couldn't stop himself, humming the familiar riff. It would have been comical if he hadn't been doing it since they were up in space, making it annoying. He thought Lance had let that go, but Allura had brought it up again. 

“Lance,” Shiro started as Lance finished the riff. He was trying to keep calm, but the Axelians had worn him down worse than Slav had. “I swear to all that is holy, if you don't stop--”

_It's a mental breakdown!_ Hunk and Pidge sang out together then high fived. 

Maybe leaving them alone with Lance with no other supervision hadn't been a good idea. 

“So I see you three have done nothing productive since we left,” Shiro answered. 

“Lance never does anything productive,” Keith answered, 

Lance glared at him. “Oh look,” he started deadpan. “It's dat boi who brings a knife to a gunfight.”

“At least I'm not a little--”

“Stow it, boys!” Pidge shouted over them. “A ten is speaking.” 

He wasn't sure whether he preferred Keith and Lance fighting or the Axelians droning on and on. Why couldn't he just find a beach planet with mimosas and massages with Allura next to him and just no drama?

“You are pretty basic,” Lance answered, not skipping a beat, but even Pidge had to laugh. “But no need to be salty! Hunk is covered in the material.” 

“What material?” Pidge asked, removing her glare and looking to Hunk. 

“Boyfriend material?” Hunk asked her, a small smile on his lips, a pink blush across his cheeks. Lance raised his hand for a high five. 

“Did you just ask me out with a meme?” She asked, narrowing her gaze at him, which wasn't really as menacing upside down. 

“Uh, maybe?” He asked. “Did it work?” 

“Wait!” Shiro exclaimed. “You--” he started, pointing to Hunk. “And you?!” He continued, pointing to Pidge. “Your dad and Matt are going to kill me!” 

“You better hope they don't catch you outside!” Allura answered. “How about that?” 

“Wrong again, Princess,” Lance answered. 

“Look how many fucks I give!” She exclaimed like a curse. 

“Still technically wrong,” Lance said. 

“Quiznack!” 

“Wait,” Keith said. “Does this mean Hunk and Pidge are dating?” 

Lance clapped his hands together with a chuckle. “Well look who showed up to the party fifteen minutes late! Where’s my Starbucks?” 

Coran's strangled gasp broke through their laughter. “Clean your mouth out with jizz! And think about what you just asked him!”

“Wait,” Hunk asked, pulling his gaze from Pidge. “What just happened?” 

“ _Soap_ , Coran!” Pidge shouted. “We talked about that. Words that do not translate well to English!” She turned to Lance. “You shouldn't ask Keith for that, ever.”

“What is it, Pidge?” Lance asked. 

“I'll tell you when you’re older.”


End file.
